I struggle with tone and content. I find it too easy to write and rant about things that are wrong with society and the treatment of veterans. I’ve had the priveledge to work for and alongside the powers that be, and seeing their mindset and motives has, no doubt, given me enough ammo to lay a beaten zone atop the ivory towers and the buffoons within so tight and fierce it would make the downtrodden smile.

But this internal conflict about where to focus has produced nothing by agnst and half-written pages.

So I’ll strive to write and create art that is more subtle or as interesting as I can without being sullen. The reasons I tell myself are basically three-fold:

1) There are others who are creating this content who are doing a much better job than I can do. I applaud them in their effort to call out corruption, buearacracy, and nefarious activity within our governments and society. We must hold their feet to the fire. We, the citizens, are the true owners of this country. Not them. It seems the nation has forgotten this.

2)The same forces who’ve been sending soldiers to fight and die in pointless wars seem to be allowing & facilitating an environment of anger and hate online; obstensibly to divide us. And while I believe this shouldn’t stop us from speaking the truth, for me, I will have to be selective on when and how I contribute.

I remember, some years ago, our Squadron was deployed to Africa for a sensitive and secret mission. Weeks and months began to pass as we waited for the ‘trigger’ to launch the mission. My attitude, like others, obviously soured over that time. You don’t have to be in the Special Forces to understand what it must be like to prepare so hard and long for something to be held up at the starting line.

I complained to the other guys in the Squadron, daily. Around the breakfast table, in the gym, and through (hilarious) memes in our group chats. When eventually one of the Det Commanders, someone whom I looked up to and was very experienced and well-respected, pulled me aside and said it was too much. To use his exact words; I was being turbo negative.

He was right. At some point you have to get over it and get on with it. So as my brain can easily make connections with evil doers, their actions, and how it effects us- I will resist the urge to become turbo-negative.

3) Lastly, I am certain that nefarious forces are eroding our attention and mental capacities for profit and control (easy Watson). Therefore I’ve come to loath the swipification of our art.

The process of film photography (capturing photons of light on a physical medium) and the developing and editing process takes time and attention.

And the writing and reading of longer form literature (for want of a better word than content), also takes time and attention.

So although I must relent to use social media to share and connect with others, my goal is to produce art, not swipable dopamine drips. Because real art takes time and attention for the creator and the consumer.